When life just keeps giving you lemons.

Hannah delivering some of the
Blessings Bags

Have you heard the expression, "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade?" Well. It's stupid. Who wants to drink gallons and gallons of lemonade?
After the happenings of October of last year, (if you're not sure what I'm referring to, check my last blog titled "Six.") I decided it was time to do some good in the world. Hannah and I embarked on a Blessings Bags project. We collected donations and used the donations to fill bags full of goodies and delivered them to our local Pregnancy Care Center. It was our way of healing. When you're hurting, try to do some good for someone else.


Well, my dear readers, we are hurting. Really hurting. Shaun's younger brother, Nickalas, was shot and killed in his hometown of Roanoke last month. He was 17. One week away from his 18th birthday. As I sit here writing, it stop to think about what I just wrote. Shot. Killed. 17. Nickalas. It still doesn't seem real, and yet, the reality of it hits me every day.

Nickalas and their Mom

Nickalas wasn't just Shaun's younger brother. He and I were a part of a very exclusive "Cool Kids" club. He was adopted. Nickalas was never Shaun's adopted brother, he was simply his brother. One of my favorite Nickalas quotes from several years ago was when he introduced me to his chocolate lab, Abby. He said, "This is Abby, she's brown like me." And he was right. He showed me the brown crayon to prove it. He loved music and dancing. He loved Michael Jackson, playing jokes on family members, and his smile was contagious. Was. In my wildest dreams I never once imagined I'd be writing about Nickalas in the past tense. That's not how the world is supposed to work. Seventeen year olds aren't supposed to be killed. It doesn't make sense. It never will. I don't know how to explain his death to Hannah because I don't know how to explain it to myself. I see the hurt in Shaun's eyes as he tries to pick up the pieces and be there for his parents and sisters. I watched my husband stand up and speak at the funeral of his little brother. Not his adopted brother. Or his black brother. His brother.

So, in the hopes of doing something good instead of making a record breaking batch of lemonade, I'm once again embarking on a Blessings Bags project. I need to do something. The world is full of sadness, hurt, and things that are far beyond our control. This is something I can control. I can spread some joy. This project isn't going to make the hurt stop. It's not going to fill the Nickalas shaped void in the hearts of his family. What I hope it does is brighten someone's day, if even for a few minutes. I want the person who opens the bag to know that someone, somewhere cares. We all need that. We all need to know that someone cares. Know that I do. I care about each and every one of you. I thank you for taking the time to read this, and for your continued support of our adoption journey.

How you can help: My goal for this project is to honor the memory of my brother, Nickalas. To spread some joy, just liked he loved to do. I would love to be able to fill 25 bags. Or 50. As many as I can. If you'd like to help, and I'd love it if you would, please contact me. I'm asking for a donation of $20 per bag, but any amount will help and all donations will go towards filling these bags. Thank you in advance for your help.

Six

Think of one of the best days you've ever had. Now think of one of the worst. Were they close together? Years apart? For me, one of my best days and one of my worst days were six days apart. Six days. Not even a week. My world was turned upside down in less than a week. I went from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows in six days.

October 6, 2016. We got a call from our adoption agency. Strike that -  we got THE call from our adoption agency. A birth mother chose us and she was due in a few weeks. It was the call we had waited and prayed for. We were finally getting a baby. We spoke with our caseworker and she gave us information on the birth family and told us that it was a baby boy. We were beside ourselves with excitement. As soon as we got off the phone we called Hannah into our room and told her. She started crying because she was so happy. We hopped in the car and drove over to my parent's house to tell them. It was one of the best days ever. That weekend we went to Target and looked at carseats, bassinets, and baby clothes, but didn't purchase anything because we were being cautious. We talked about names. We organized and started talking about a theme for the nursery decorations.
We were so excited because his due date was within days of my brother and sister in law's due date. We talked about how crazy it was going to be with two babies. Two babies for Thanksgiving. Two babies for Christmas. It was as if everything was falling into place exactly like it was supposed to.

Then, October 13. Shaun's at work and I'm home with Hannah. I get another call from our agency. The baby was born and the birth mom left the hospital without signing an adoption plan. The baby will be taken into DSS custody upon his release from the hospital. She would try to contact the birth mother, holding on to hope that as long as he was in the hospital there was still a chance she could make an adoption plan, but it was a long shot. Just like that everything changed. The world crashed around me. I went from the ultimate excitement to a pain I didn't think was possible. We always knew that there was a risk of a birthmother changing her mind. It's always there in the back of your mind, but knowing it didn't prepare us for the pain of it happening. Actual physical pain. Curled in a ball on the floor sobbing kind of pain. I got off the phone and realized that I had to tell Shaun and Hannah. And my parents. How in the world was I going to tell Hannah that she wasn't getting the little brother she was so excited for? I tried to compose myself as best as I could and I called her into the living room. I'll never forget seeing my sweet, innocent little girl crumble to the floor in tears, her whole body shaking as I told her. She kept asking "why?" and it was something I couldn't answer. I then had to call Shaun and tell him. I still don't understand why it hurt so much to lose someone we never met. Then I think about him. For six days, I had a son. For six days, Hannah had a little brother. I felt like I had lost a piece of myself. Like I was living in a horrible nightmare that I couldn't wake up from. We didn't tell anyone outside of our family that we were getting a baby, so no one knew. As hard as it was to keep the happy secret, it was even worse to keep the horrible one. I had to pretend that everything was normal. I had to pretend that my heart wasn't broken into a million pieces. People would ask "So, how's the adoption going? Anything new?" I'd just smile and say, "not yet, still waiting." Every time I'd reply, the weight of our loss came back upon me. I thought about that little boy every day. Praying that he was ok. Wishing that he knew that for six days, he had a family that loved him. For six days he had a big sister. For six days he had the happiest parents on the planet. I wondered if he was ok. If he was loved.

Six months went by. The pain lessened, life went on, I got to meet my beautiful and amazing niece. Still, in the quiet of night, or a random time during the day, I'd think of our almost little boy. I'd wonder if he was smiling like my niece. If he could roll over, or sit up. I hoped he was happy, loved.
Then six weeks ago I got an email. The birth mom had contacted the agency and wanted to make an adoption plan. The baby was in DSS custody, so it would be difficult for the agency to get involved with his placement. The email asked if we were interested in pursuing this. We agreed, but said that if his current foster parents were planning on adopting him, we wouldn't try to pull him from that situation. We weren't going to fight DSS, or take him from the only parents he's ever known. Our caseworker said that she'd get in touch with her attorney and they would look into his situation. I don't think I can adequately put into words the anxiety of waiting to find out if this little boy was meant to be ours. Shaun and I didn't tell anyone. Not Hannah, not Mom. We weren't going to put them through the stress or heartbreak of another failure. So, we dealt with it quietly and alone. Finally, after six weeks of anxiety, we spoke with the attorney and decided that based on the information we had, the emotional and financial risk of pursuing this further wasn't something we are comfortable with. We aren't wiling to risk the money that people have given to us and raised for us. If we attempted a legal battle with DSS and lost, we would lose the money we have for our adoption and that would be the end. If we lost, then we not only lost the money that was so generously given to us, but we would lose the chance of ever adopting. I couldn't fathom telling Hannah that it was never going to happen, or telling those that helped us that we lost the money. We made this decision a week ago. Not a second goes by that I don't wonder if we made the right choice, but it was our only choice. I will never stop praying for our almost little boy. I will always think of him and wonder if he's ok, if he's loved, if he's happy.

Now what? Now we continue waiting. We wait for another birth mother to choose us. If that happens, we will do things differently. We won't tell Hannah until papers have been signed. We won't tell anyone. I can't put Hannah through the heartbreak again. I won't. So, we wait. We wait for another phone call. We wait, this time a little more guarded, a little less optimistic and a little more realistic.

Let's Do Some Good!

While we wait...and wait...and wait for "that" phone call, I wanted to make you, dear readers, aware of another cause that's near and dear to our hearts. The East Lincoln Pregnancy Care Center. The PCC helps women in all stages of pregnancy, and all costs are covered. For more information on the PCC, click here!

As you know, my hubby, Shaun, and three of his friends are the brains and voices behind the Laymen's Cup Podcast. Wait...you didn't know that? They're like famous and everything! Want more info on the super famous Laymen? Click here!  On your smart phone there is a podcast app - seriously! I didn't know either! Once you find the podcast app, search for Laymen's Cup and you can download to your heart's content! In the episode coming out this Monday (Feb 20.) They discuss the PCC with the Director and two of the board members. Even if you're not into a Theology Podcast - this is one you'll want to check out.

They discuss the upcoming annual fundraiser banquet. The Laymen and their wives (that's me!) will be attending for the second year in a row. We get to get dressed up and have a night out! Last year I wore heels and survived to tell about it!  Why am I telling you this? Well, one, because it's my blog and I can, but most importantly, I need your help! I would love to help gather donations from you - my beloved readers - and deliver them the night of the banquet.

There are several ways you can help. First, if you'd like to make a donation, in any amount, you can send it to me via paypal. In order to avoid fees, send it friends and family - because we're all friends, right? To send a donation via paypal - click here and select send. Then you can enter my email address: annmfier@gmail.com.

Another way you can help is by shopping my Jamberry fundraiser. You can purchase nail wraps, lacquers and hand care products, or, if you'd like, you can purchase a gift card. The gift card will be used to purchase items for the clients of the PCC. In addition, all commission earned from this fundraiser will be donated to the PCC. For my Jamberry link, Click Here!
If you purchase a gift card you'd like to donate, please email me at annmfier@gmail.com and include the gift card code you receive in your email.

Finally, please pray. Pray for the staff and volunteers of the center as they minister to the community. Pray for the clients of the center, and lastly pray for us. Waiting - it stinks. But, hopefully we can do some good while we wait for the phone call that will change our lives (and sleeping patterns!)

Thank you for reading. It's humbling to know that you take the time out of your day to read my ramblings!

Back in the day

29 years ago today I arrived in the loving arms of my parents. Ok, maybe it wasn't 29 years ago, but since I am now perpetually 29, that's the number I'm going with. That's not the point. The point is that this is the anniversary of the day I met my family. Back in the day - many, many, years ago, adoption was done Old School. Not baby in a basket down the river old, but old. Guess that would be more Old Testament than Old School, but I digress...  

My mom and I. 

On that frigid Ohio evening, my parent's lawyer, Dan, and the social worker, drove from the small town we lived in to Akron, realized they had the wrong paperwork, drove back to our town, then back to Akron. They sprung me from the hospital and drove the 3 hours back home. Everyone met at the lawyer's house and I got to meet my parents for the first time. I don't remember any of this, of course, being all of three days old at the time, but I'm told it was quite an exciting day. 

My Dad and I.

Things have changed in the adoption world in the last 29* (ahem...) years. More paperwork, more money, more red tape, more...more. We have finished our homestudy update, once more we "seem" mentally and emotionally stable enough to adopt a baby. Now, we get to resume the super fun, super fantastic, super "make you want to scream" tediousness of waiting. Waiting for a phone call. Waiting to hear that we have been chosen by a birth mother. No, I don't jump every time the phone rings. Thank goodness for caller ID. Everyone asks if we are ready. My answer is always the same. We are as ready as we can get. 

Something I've learned during this long, long, long process is that I am still not a patient person. Waiting for God's timing is taking forever. We just keep hoping, keep waiting, and waiting, and know that His timing will be perfect...eventually!

National Adoption Day

Today is National Adoption Day. Maybe one day it will get the attention that Talk Like a Pirate Day, Hot Sauce Day, or even No Pants Day do. Maybe one day the news will mention it.  Maybe one day... Adoption is one of those things that people get kind of squirmy and look confused or constipated when you talk about it. They're all for it, yay adoption and all, but what do they really know about it? Hopefully more than those God-awful Lifetime movies portray. You know the ones. There are two types: The first - evil guy in white van sells mystery baby to several couples, absconds with the cash and there's never a baby. The poor upper-middle class families are heartbroken, but enter attorney/pastor/pregnant teenager and all is wrapped up with a little bow, just at the end of the 90 minute movie. The other type of adoption movie the one that evokes that "chunks rising in my throat" feeling is the one where mom, dad and baby are super happy until baby is about two or three and then the birth parents, suddenly, want the baby back. Lots of drama, a court battle, tears and then tied up in a neat little bow at minute 89, just in time for the credits and sappy music. 

Why am I talking about D grade movies? Well, for one reason, it's my blog and I can do what I want! But the main reason is that I hope our adoption experience normalizes adoption. It's not a Lifetime movie - but I'm eager for the day that our journey is wrapped up in a little bow and we can all move forward as a family. 

So, where are we currently? Let's put it this way - It takes approximately 19,885 sheets of paper to crush a human skull. Seriously, I did the math. We are about 10 sheets away. We saw the light at the end of the tunnel, but as you may know, sometimes that light is actually a train. A large train. One that says "time for an update to your homestudy." Yep - that's right. We get an all expenses due, more paperwork to fill out, homestudy update! No door number three for us. We are almost done with the second round of paperwork, a few more odds and ends to submit, and another home visit with our lovely social worker. That's the best part. She's phenomenal. Once that is done, can you guess the next step? Waiting! I'm like a pro at that part! We wait until we are chosen by a birth mom. 

Birth moms are women who are making a heart wrenching decision. They are presented with the option to abort numerous times during their nine month pregnancy. Society tells them that it's the easy way. The best way. What I hope that these women know is that there is another option. It's the decision to give life. It's going to be hard, but we will raise that baby as our own and love it unconditionally. That's what my parents did with me. My mom stayed up with me night after night when I was sick, helped me with my homework, and was in the delivery room when Hannah was born. She is my mom and I am her daughter. No, she didn't give birth to me, but she gave me life and makes my life better every day. The same goes for my dad, and I want to follow their example and love our child just like they love me.

For everyone reading this - do me a favor today. Take a minute or two out of your day and pray. Pray for the birth mothers. Pray that they choose life and that they are given a peace about their decision. Pray for children in orphanages and in foster care. Pray for the social workers and agencies trying to find families for these children. Finally, pray for us and the other families going through the adoption process. Pray that we aren't crushed by the weight of the paperwork, or the weight of the stress this process can bring. Pray that one day soon, we will have our baby home.

When "Thank You" just doesn't seem sufficient...

 On July 30, 64 amazing golfers came out and supported the Laymen's Cup 1st annual Golf Tournament. It was hot. Surface of the sun hot. And yet these 64 people picked up their clubs, hopped into their carts and headed out onto the beautiful Glen Oaks Golf Club course to play. They were there to play for a cause near and dear to my heart...our adoption.

The Laymen worked tirelessly for the months leading up to the tournament. Finding sponsors. Getting raffle prizes and donations. Advertising. All of the things it takes to make an event successful. While all of the Laymen did a fantastic job, I'm going to say an extra special THANK YOU to Wes. Wes went above and beyond in his efforts to make this tournament a success. It
wouldn't have gone as smoothly and been the success it was without his effort. Wes - You ROCK! Truly, Wes, thank you. And to Patrick and Kemp, Thank you!

I also wanted to post a huge THANK YOU to our sponsors. These companies sponsored holes, donated prizes and helped us raise funds towards our adoption. What is awesome about this is they took a chance on a new tournament, not knowing how big it would be. If you're in the market, check out these businesses!

What is the Laymen's Cup you ask? It's a podcast put out by Shaun, Wes, Kemp and Patrick, that discusses theology (but not in a boring way) and their mutual (read obsessive) love of coffee. Strong coffee. Manly coffee. Check them out on iTunes in the Podcast Section - Laymen's Cup, at www.laymenscup.com and on Facebook and Twitter @laymenscup. Tell them I sent you!

We are still chipping away at the total needed to bring our baby home, but this golf tournament didn't only help financially, it gave me hope again. Something that had been hard to find for a long time. They say that hope is a dangerous thing, that it could lead to disappointments, but I realize that I feel better being hopeful than discouraged. Yes, there have been many discouraging things - some as recent as this week, but I'm going to focus on the fact that we have amazing friends and family that helped make this tournament an overwhelming success! So...I'm going to keep hoping, keep praying, keep chipping away at that financial challenge until we bring our baby home.

Radio Silence

Yes...we are still alive. We didn't fall off the planet of enter the witness protection program...yet. I just decided that the whole "full disclosure" thing I promised was harder than I expected. Some things I didn't want to share. I didn't want pity, or that puppy dog eyed head tilt that people do when they've heard bad news about someone.

So...what's been going on? In March, we got a call about a little boy who needed a home. Long story short, we interviewed with a panel of about 12 people for an hour, and waited a stressful weekend to be told that another family had been selected. Hannah was crushed. I felt numb. Shaun was disappointed but tried to lift our spirits. It wasn't something we had gone in search of, it was presented to us by someone, and it wasn't through our agency, but DSS. It still stung. To say we were disappointed would be quite the understatement. It left me feeling numb and unsure if this was something I wanted to put my family through again.

It's three months later. I've put dusted off my pride, put on my big girl pants and decided to - finally - revisit this blog.
Here's what's new. Hannah just finished 4th grade. I can't believe she will be 10 next month. Time, please slow down!

Shaun's podcast is holding a golf tournament to benefit the adoption. If you know of someone who would like to sponsor a hole, be a title sponsor, or if you'd like to play in the tournament, contact the Laymen's Cup at laymenscup@gmail.com.

A sweet friend from church is holding a Noonday Collection Trunk show, also benefiting our adoption. Noonday Collection is jewelry made by artisans around the world and is beautiful. You can shop online to benefit the adoption and these awesome artisans!
https://www.noondaycollection.com/pws/BethanyWike/eventstore21509/AMUS/default.aspx

Thank you for your support. Thank you for caring.

Thank You

Friday night we ended our online silent auction. Thank you to the following people who donated items:

Amy F.   www.amyshomecleaning.com
Letricia B.   www.plusadayphotography.com
Melanie L.  www.facebook.com/blueponydesigns  and http://melanielocke.arbonne.com
Ginger H.   naturalhelps4health.myshaklee.com
Amy P.
Jenn W.
Cevan S.
Jennifer H.

Claudia B.
Nicola S.
Nicole H.
Kim L.
Naomi D.
Jamie F.
Jin W.
Laura M.
Mary N.
Adam F.
Lindsay F.
Mary Beth G.

We are so blessed by the amazing friends and family we have. This auction raised just over $1,000! Words can't express how thankful we are for everything you all have done for us! We love you!

Patience and Home Appliances

Hello lovely readers. Wanted to fill you in on the newest goings on. We are busy applying for grants and matching grants (those are nifty, they match whatever we raise!) and we are about to start an online silent auction! Wonderful people have donated the most awesome items towards the auction. Handmade items, gift cards, crafts, and all kinds of fabulousness! I'm in awe of their talents and willingness to help us! So, a huge thank you to you all!

I'll be adding people to the group on Facebook to be able to see and bit on all of the items on Thursday and Friday before it starts.

Other fundraisers are in the works, but we've had an unexpected speed bump.
Friday morning, the air conditioner in our house cooled it's last. Seeing as we live in NC and it's currently 90+ degrees every day, staying in the house wasn't exactly an option. Thankfully, my parents are letting us invade them until it's fixed. Remember the old saying, "company is like dead fish, after a few days they both start to stink!" Well, we are trying really hard to not be stinky fish!

Needless to say, I was upset. Ok, more than upset. It felt like a cosmic sign, maybe God was telling us to stop this crazy adoption idea and just go about our lives. I was pretty down Friday and even Saturday. Still don't understand His timing, or His plans, but I know that giving up on the child that is out there waiting for us isn't in His plans. Sure, it would be easier to throw up my hands and say, "Ok, God, I quit." We've tried for over a year and a half, you've thrown small speed bumps and now a large, expensive one our way. I'm done." Sure, it would be easier, but what about that baby who needs a family? Giving up on him or her because of an air conditioner? Seems a little selfish and stupid. Therefore, we are staying on course, speed bumps be darned! Just need a little patience.

I'm not a patient person. If you know me well at all, you've laughed at that because I'm possibly the least patient person ever in life. I strive daily to be a more patient person, but it's taking too long...
Want to know something that takes a long time and can make you nuts? Adoption. It can make you crazy in ways you didn't even know you could go crazy! What is my best and worst quality? Well, my  worst quality is that I..

Any-who...that's where we are. Be looking for the auction and please be praying for us! Specific prayer requests: Our AC, patience for me, our future baby, the birth parents, and for us to follow in God's will in this whole process.

Thanks for reading. Much love for you all!

Aren't we adorable?

New Photo of us! Thought I'd share!

Pretend This is a Clever Title, Ok?

It's been a while since I've updated you lovelies on our progress. I guess that's because there hasn't been much to update. We were thrilled when our homestudy was completed and approved. We felt like we had cleared a giant hurdle and it would be a smooth road to the finish line. We were way too optimistic. As it turns out, the hurdles are still in front of us.
We have decided to use a different agency for the remainder of our adoption process. This agency is located in Rock Hill, South Carolina. There is nothing we have to do over for the switch, as they will accept our NC homestudy. One of the main factors that led to this change is the difference in adoption laws between NC and SC. NC has a seven day revocation period. Meaning, for seven days after the birth mother signs the adoption papers, she can change her mind. Seven days of every time the phone rings wondering if it's the agency telling us that the birth mother has changed her mind. SC doesn't have a revocation period. Once the birth  mother signs the papers, usually 24-72 hours after the birth, it can't be revoked.
The hurdles come in the form of paying for the remainder of the adoption expenses. We are applying for several grants and even low interest loans, but those won't cover the entire amount.
Our first plan is an online silent auction. If you are a crafter, direct sales person, willing to purchase gift cards, have items you're willing to donate, please let us know. We hope to start taking donations as early as today, and be able to start the auction in a week or so, depending on the donations we get. It will be on Facebook. The items will be listed with a photo, and anyone interested in bidding will bid under the picture in the comments. Seems simple enough, right? I hope so.

Full Disclosure, we've been discouraged lately. Me especially. It seems sometimes that every time we think we are getting closer, it just seems far away. I'm hoping we can get people to donate to this auction and then get others to participate and bid.

Thanks for reading this. Thanks for your prayers and support.

Yet Another Update

Hello out there in cyberland. Just a quick update. Our homestudy has <FINALLY> been approved. What does that mean? In a word - Fundraisers. Grants. Loans. Gifts from long lost rich relatives maybe? We are starting the super fun process of applying for any adoption grant we can get our hands on. We are also working on some other ways to raise the funds.
Thanks for all of your prayer and support. I appreciate each time someone asks how the process is going or says that they are praying for us. I'll let you know more when we know more!

The End is Near...Or is it?

We had our last visit with our super awesome caseworker last night. The first meeting was at our house and she got to meet Hannah. The second meeting was just the two of us, and the third was her and Shaun. Last night Shaun and I met with her for the final time and I'm going to miss chatting with her! She has already sent us the rough draft of our homestudy document to be fact checked, and, being all punctual, I've already sent it back to her! Yay, me!
I've never read one before (why would I have?) so it was actually interesting to see what all it entails. I still don't find us particularly interesting, but maybe that's a good thing. She wrote about our childhoods, schooling, how we met, how we parent Hannah and the best part...she wrote that we both "appear to be emotionally stable." I don't know why, but I got a good chuckle out of that. Not that we aren't stable (Shush, you! You know who you are!), it's just funny to see it written.

So, what's next you ask? Well, once she makes the changes she sends it to her boss with our agency. She said it should take about a week to be approved. After that, we will have an honest to goodness signed homestudy. Woot! Why woot? Woot because it means we can apply for grants, interest free loans and other ways to raise the funds we need to complete the adoption. (Unless you, gentle reader, happened upon $25,000 that you just can't find the use for. If that's the case, we should talk!) Seriously though, yes, it seems like a crazy amount of moolah, and yeah, it's a lot, but when there's a will, there's a way. Pretty sure some really famous philosopher said that. Or Charlie Brown.

We've said from the start that we are open to either gender or any race. <Insert looks of shock and awe here.> Yep, that means that there is a high likelihood that our new family member won't be all pasty pale like me! If you are shaking your head at that, don't call me. We can't be friends. One of the adoption classes we took called it "conspicuous families." Families that stand out. I'd like to change that culture. I think that a family is so much more that skin color. I would love to live in a world where it was completely normal for the family members to be a whole mix of colors.

Anywho...stepping away from my soapbox before I really get going. The next few months are where we will be writing for grants, working on fundraisers, all in the hopes of bringing our new baby home.

What can you do to help you ask? (You ARE asking that, right?? I thought so!) You can pray! Pray that we are able to secure the funds as quickly as possible. Pray that we do everything for the Glory of God. Pray for the birth mother of our baby. Pray for peace for her as she makes what has to be an unbelievable difficult decision. Pray that She knows that we will always love her for the gift she gives us. Pray for us. We haven't had an infant in nearly 9 years. (If you don't own stock in Starbucks or Folgers now might be a good time to invest.) It's going to be a change. We get that, but also know that it will be a change for the best!

Success!

The first meeting with our caseworker was a success! She came to our house and we talked for nearly three hours. She was able to see our home and meet Hannah. She even asked Hannah special questions to make sure that she felt included in the process.
The questions she asked were run of the mill ones. Why are we wanting to adopt. What do we do for fun. How do we settle arguments and all that good stuff.
The best part is that she loved our humor and sarcasm. She was hilarious. So glad that she has a great sense of humor. Would have made for a long meeting!

We will meet with her three more times. I meet with her next week by myself, then the following week Shaun will meet with her, and the week after that we will meet with her together again.
Once the meetings have finished, she will write up the homestudy document and send it to us to fact check. Once we check it, the document will be sent to her supervisor and then to our agency. Then we will be an official "waiting family."

Please keep us in your prayers. Once we have the completed homestudy document in hand we can apply for grants and interest free loans. We are also considering doing another fundraiser in the future.

The Countdown is On...

Thursday. 6:30. Our first meeting with our social worker. Taking deep cleansing breaths. Inhale...exhale...repeat.

We have laughed and talked about hundreds of things not to talk about the two hour meetings, but not sure what we are actually going to talk about that's not snarky and sarcastic. Two hours and no sarcasm...is that even possible? Let's face it, I get sarcastic at the checkout at Walmart.
Checkout lady - "Is that all?"
Me - "Nah, I'll take all this invisible stuff too."

Lord help me. Granted, I know she's supposed to get to know the "real" us but shouldn't we break her in gently?

Hmm...there's that word again..."real."

Pray for us!

Quick Update

Just a quick update, not the next great American Novel, I promise.

We have successfully submitted all of our paperwork for the homestudy. It's been approved! Now we wait to be contacted by our assigned Caseworker. There will be 4 interviews in the homestudy. One with Shaun and I together, one visit to our house, one with just me, and one with just Shaun. Then - it will take them up to three months to write the reports. After the reports are written and in hand, we can apply for the all important GRANTS!
Thank you for your continued prayers and support!

Expectations vs. Reality

When I decided to start this blog, I told myself it would be full disclosure. That being said, I've been procrastinating on this post. It's been about a year since we decided that we wanted to adopt. At first, people were really excited, and now, when people ask how the process is going, they seem disappointed or almost bored when I tell them that we are still buried in paperwork and awaiting the actual start of our home study. Yes, the same one we were wanting to start in August, and September, and October... I get comments like "You still haven't done the homestudy? What's taking so long?" Or even better, "Oh, you're still going through with that?" Going through with it? I'm not attempting a hostile government take over (yet) or donating my right leg. When I try to explain to them where we are in the process I watch as their eyes glaze over like mine to when my husband starts telling me about the newest sports record to be broken, or how much he enjoys reading Winston Churchill's autobiography. Well, I'm sorry I don't have better news for you. Really I am. Don't you think I'd like to have the process hurrying along as well? Let's face it, my birthday is in two days and I'm not exactly feeling like a spring chicken here. For those of you who want to know, here is where we are:
We have paid for the homestudy. We completed all of the paperwork for it, or so we thought. Once we had everything submitted and did our happy dance, the agency came back and told us that they were going to combine our homestudy and formal applications to allegedly hurry it up on the back end. Well, with the combination of applications came an influx of more paperwork. New, longer, more detailed autobiographies, online classes, infant CPR (is this where I mention that Shaun is a licensed EMT?), medical records, recommendation letters, and more. The rubric for the autobiographies is about 8 pages. I, for one, am not eight pages interesting. I'm more like 4 pages of interesting with maybe a little comic strip or something. I blame my parents actually, normal middle class upbringing. Nothing crazy (minus this one aunt). Nothing to "overcome" or use to pad my autobiography. Nope. Loving parents, little brother, cat, dog, occasional fish tank. Summers with mom, beach vacations, you know, the typical Lifetime Movie Network movie without the horrible twist. Not that I'm complaining, I prefer the normal upbringing, honest. I really do. After all, I'm not the one who has to read my super exciting autobiography!
Whew...sorry about that. Back on topic now. Really.
Full disclosure...here goes nothing.
A few months ago, we got super news. We secured a loan that would completely fund the adoption. Anything we didn't raise would be covered by this loan. (Insert happy dance here.) Well, like all good things, or chickens counted before they were hatched, we discovered that Shaun would be taking a pay cut with his job starting in April. Nothing that will hurt our daily lives, but would make paying back the loan significantly more difficult. I'm hoping that my Jamberry business continues to grow and will make paying back any adoption loans as easy as applying a set of nail wraps (see what I did there?), but until that happens we are going to be applying for as many grants as we can get our beautifully manicured hands on. Should be easy right? I mean, all you need to apply for adoption grants is a completed homestudy...
So there you have it. I will try to update more often. I will try to be transparent with the process. I want this to bring awareness to adoption and the process as much as inform you about our journey.

Thankful

It's been a while since I posted. Life, ya know? There have been so many times I've thought that I needed to sit down and post, and every time, something pulled me in a different direction.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. It's a time when we all sit around and think of things that we are thankful for. This is my list.

Last month, we took part in the Chosen Race. Friends and Family members got up early on a Saturday morning to walk or run 10 miles to benefit our adoption. For this I am thankful. While that was an amazing thing to see, I saw something even more amazing while at the race. I saw beautiful families. Families in which adoption was normal. I saw a blond mom with three beautiful blond haired, blue eyed little girls, who were all in love with their adorable black little brother. I saw a family with a white mom, black dad and Asian little girl. There were numerous other families just like these. They weren't parents with their adopted children. They were families. It was amazing. I felt so at home around these complete strangers. This was the one place where these families didn't get asked who the baby that didn't look like them belonged to. I am thankful for the opportunity to meet and talk with other adoptive parents and adopted children. I am thankful that there are others in this world who can see past color when it comes to making a family.

I am thankful for the people who have donated to our adoption. Whether it was through the race, a gift, donation, or other ways, thank you.

I am thankful for my family. For my husband, who supports me, loves me, and understands me.

I am thankful for my daughter. Hannah teaches me something new every day. She is the most tenderhearted and kind little girl and I am so proud of her.

I am thankful for my parents. They made me who I am today.

I am thankful for my brother and his wife. Thank you for allowing me to spend a day each week loving on your beautiful baby boy.

I am thankful for my friends. We laugh until we cry, we also are there for each other no matter what.

This list could go on for ages. I know that I am blessed beyond measure. Thank you to everyone who reads this post. Thank you for taking time out of your day, even just a few minutes, to read about or journey. We are finishing up some final paperwork and the home study, in search of Whichever One Fits.

Hannah

One part of our Home Study paper work is to write our autobiographies. I decided that I'd do the same here so you, dear reader, can get to know us.
I'm starting with Hannah, because, well, she's the cutest!
Hannah turned 8 the end of July. I'm still coming to terms with the fact that she's growing up so fast!
Hannah is the baby I was told I'd never have. When I was 22 I was told I would probably never have children. Imagine our joy when we discovered we were pregnant! The day she was born was the most amazing day ever! Every day since I have thanked God that he blessed us with such an amazing little girl.
Words I'd use to describe Hannah are beautiful, hilarious, caring, tender hearted, and pink. Yes, PINK! When I was pregnant, I stated that I wasn't going to have "one of those little girls who is all about pink!" Oops! Her room is currently two different shades of pink, one with sparkles in the paint. Her closet looks like a pink explosion! We are slowly trying to escape the world of pink!
Hannah has a very tender heart. She can always tell when someone is sad and is the first to try to lift their spirits. She loves to give sweet hugs and hates it when people are mean.
She was the first person we talked to when we decided it was time to adopt. We asked her if she would like to be a big sister and she was immediately excited. We explained the adoption process as best we could to a then seven year old. She asks every day about her new brother or sister. She's even suggested names. While I appreciate the effort, I don't think we will be going with Ariel, Tiana, Cinderella or Rapunzel.
Hannah loves dancing and gymnastics. She just completed her sixth year dancing, and second year on the competition dance team. She amazes me every day. She's a little princess, loves girly things, but also loves to get grubby outside and play in the dirt! She has a cat named Daisy. Hannah is the only person in the family that Daisy likes. Seriously. I'm sure, given the chance, that cat would have me taken out, but she adores Hannah. Hannah also has a leopard gecko named Lucy. Lucy was adopted from a pet store. They wouldn't sell her because she is blind, so we took her home and hand feed her. Hannah also has a pet snake named Izzy. Izzy is an albino kingsnake and therefore pink. Yep, pink. Even her snake is pink! She loves animals and adventures.
Hannah has lofty goals in life. She wants to become a pediatric surgeon. She made that decision in kindergarten when she met our cousin, Kensi. Kensi came to visit us over Christmas when Hannah was in Kindergarten. Kensi was at St. Jude because she had a Wilm's Tumor, a type of childhood cancer. We were lucky enough to spend some time over Christmas break with Kensi, then again Mother's Day weekend of 2012. Sadly, Kensi was called to Heaven in June of 2012. Hannah was crushed. She decided that she wanted to help kids like Kensi. For the last two years, she has been adamant that she will become a pediatric surgeon, the only time she wavered was when we swam with dolphins and she considered becoming a dolphin trainer!
Every day with Hannah is an adventure. She keeps us laughing and not knowing what to expect next. She is most definitely the best thing in our lives and we thank God every day for her!

Chosen

Running With a Purpose

10 Lives * 10 Years * 10 Miles

 

Coming October 18th, 2014

Charlotte Motor Speedway, 5555 Concord Pkwy S, Concord NC

 

This fall, Chosen will bring a 10 mile race to the Charlotte Motor Speedway in remembrance of those we lost 10 years ago in a plane accident near Martinsville, Virginia. Chosen celebrates their legacy that lives on through the gift of adoption. Join us for this special event as we honor them by raising funds and awareness for adoptive families and orphans around the world. Register now & race for someone else’s victory!

 

 

 

We are forming a team for the Chosen Race in Charlotte this October. Put on by Chosen and partnering with the Hendricks family, the race is in memory of those 10 lives lost 10 years ago. The Chosen is a race benefiting adoptive families. Any registration fees or donations will go to our adoption agency from the ABBA Fund, in our name. Shaun is running the 10 mile race, Ann is walking and Hannah has signed up for the kid's race. Will you consider joining us? Whether you are a runner, walker, or child, our team needs you!



Invite your friends. Invite your family. Invite runners you know who are looking for the next fun race! If you can't join us at the race that day, consider sponsoring Shaun as he runs, or making a donation to the team.

Below is the link to register. On the second page, please select Team Whichever One Fits. This week only, the team who has the most people sign up will win what the race organizers are calling "significant bonus $$ towards their adoption."

If you have any questions, contact us or the race officials! We hope to see you in October!

 

To Sign Up:  http://www.athleteguild.com/running/charlotte-nc/2014-chosen-10-mile

Remember to select our team: Team Whichever One Fits

 

Thank you!