When life just keeps giving you lemons.

Hannah delivering some of the
Blessings Bags

Have you heard the expression, "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade?" Well. It's stupid. Who wants to drink gallons and gallons of lemonade?
After the happenings of October of last year, (if you're not sure what I'm referring to, check my last blog titled "Six.") I decided it was time to do some good in the world. Hannah and I embarked on a Blessings Bags project. We collected donations and used the donations to fill bags full of goodies and delivered them to our local Pregnancy Care Center. It was our way of healing. When you're hurting, try to do some good for someone else.


Well, my dear readers, we are hurting. Really hurting. Shaun's younger brother, Nickalas, was shot and killed in his hometown of Roanoke last month. He was 17. One week away from his 18th birthday. As I sit here writing, it stop to think about what I just wrote. Shot. Killed. 17. Nickalas. It still doesn't seem real, and yet, the reality of it hits me every day.

Nickalas and their Mom

Nickalas wasn't just Shaun's younger brother. He and I were a part of a very exclusive "Cool Kids" club. He was adopted. Nickalas was never Shaun's adopted brother, he was simply his brother. One of my favorite Nickalas quotes from several years ago was when he introduced me to his chocolate lab, Abby. He said, "This is Abby, she's brown like me." And he was right. He showed me the brown crayon to prove it. He loved music and dancing. He loved Michael Jackson, playing jokes on family members, and his smile was contagious. Was. In my wildest dreams I never once imagined I'd be writing about Nickalas in the past tense. That's not how the world is supposed to work. Seventeen year olds aren't supposed to be killed. It doesn't make sense. It never will. I don't know how to explain his death to Hannah because I don't know how to explain it to myself. I see the hurt in Shaun's eyes as he tries to pick up the pieces and be there for his parents and sisters. I watched my husband stand up and speak at the funeral of his little brother. Not his adopted brother. Or his black brother. His brother.

So, in the hopes of doing something good instead of making a record breaking batch of lemonade, I'm once again embarking on a Blessings Bags project. I need to do something. The world is full of sadness, hurt, and things that are far beyond our control. This is something I can control. I can spread some joy. This project isn't going to make the hurt stop. It's not going to fill the Nickalas shaped void in the hearts of his family. What I hope it does is brighten someone's day, if even for a few minutes. I want the person who opens the bag to know that someone, somewhere cares. We all need that. We all need to know that someone cares. Know that I do. I care about each and every one of you. I thank you for taking the time to read this, and for your continued support of our adoption journey.

How you can help: My goal for this project is to honor the memory of my brother, Nickalas. To spread some joy, just liked he loved to do. I would love to be able to fill 25 bags. Or 50. As many as I can. If you'd like to help, and I'd love it if you would, please contact me. I'm asking for a donation of $20 per bag, but any amount will help and all donations will go towards filling these bags. Thank you in advance for your help.